Dear Fox Network Executive:

In the race to perpetrate the most ignominious and unwatchable schlock on the viewing audience in the name of ratings, YOU WIN. I am shocked, appalled and dismayed that your network executives would even CONSIDER airing a show so self-destructive and idiotic as GLUTTON BOWL. Did anyone consider even for a MOMENT how crackbrained this idea really is?

Let’s examine the premise of the show for just a moment. “This gut-busting, eat-‘til-you-drop, two-hour special pits 40 larger-than-life contestants against each other in unique competitive eating challenges.” I need you to explain succinctly what is UNIQUE about watching forty obesity plagued buffoons stuff their face in the name of competition? Hell, I can go to the local Chinese buffet and see this this sort of competition on an ongoing basis if I like. I would begin to comment on the obvious health liabilities this sort of competition involves, but since the “larger-than-life” contingency doesn’t seem to care about their own well-being, why should I? Instead I’ll just state for the record that there is NOTHING creative, unique or larger-than-life about this show. It is an idiotic premise, and the wellsprings of the “creative” cretin who is responsible for this concept should be poisoned and capped.

As a single viewer it’s too bad I can’t do anything to convince you how asinine your programming decisions are. Of course Fox is renowned for making poor choices to reel in viewers. One would think that after that whole Darva Conger fiasco, you would begin to make programming choices that didn’t assault the intelligence of your viewers. But this Glutton Bowl effrontery shows you really learned nothing from that. Well I have. I have learned I cannot count on Fox for quality programming and therefore will choose not to watch Fox for entertainment. Since you will continue to peddle shows like Glutton Bowl and Marry a Millionaire, it will be a painless effort to tune you out PERMANENTLY.

--The Author

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