To Whom It May Concern:

I recently wrote you in regards to the ill-contrived POP banners that appear throughout your programs and the Pavlovian tones that accompanied them. To my pleasure you have discontinued the tone, but to continuing my consternation the banners persist. Being the egomaniac I am, I have largely taken credit for providing the impetus that led you to remove the tone that signified the appearance of said banners. I am again appealing to your sensibilities (or perhaps lack thereof) to remove the POP banners.

This information I have previously conveyed, but here goes again. The information contained within the banners is, in a word, useless. It provides no relevant information to the show being viewed (in this case Miami Vice), and it serves only to detract from the entertainment value of the show. I realize some marketing executive must have really cut a rug when the genius (the term is used very loosely) that proposed this idea mentioned it would appeal to viewers in the 18-25 year old demographic, but they were sorely mistaken. Might I suggest if you are to continue these grossly unnecessary banners that you place them where they do NOT detract from the show. How about during the ending credits? Then you can cram all that junk (and then some), into one big ole POP banner for the whole viewing audience to enjoy.

And speaking of POP! I am going to indulge myself momentarily and comment on the POP campaign in general. Going back to the brilliant wit in marketing that devised this campaign, Im hoping to bring to your attention that they meant the whole fiasco as a practical joke. (Really it was. Read on for the proof.) If it has escaped your attention (and apparently a LOT does), POP is an acronym for Piece of Poop. Although many would argue that is exactly what ALL networks broadcast nowadays, I cant think of any self-respecting network that would readily admit to the idea that they are in the business of broadcasting poop. (I do admit, somewhat reluctantly, that the POP campaign is about as original as NBCs must see TV and your parent company CBSs its all here.)

Now lets move on to those advertisements that appear on various other cable networks to hype your network, shall we? Obviously advertising is a necessary ingredient to encourage viewers to tune in to TNN, etc. But allowing the lowest common denominator of society to be hucksters for your network isnt the one of the most brilliant decisions ever made. Id be stating the obvious if I suggested a retro-based campaign that highlighted some of the slickest shows on during the 80s, but your marketing department has contented itself to head down to the local shopping mall and engage rednecks and other local riffraff, who use words in the commercials that Websters chooses not to define, to psyche me up and encourage me to tune in. Revolting!

But Im just a viewer, what do I know? Not much, but what I do know is that I am in the coveted 18-25 year old age demographic and I have little patience with things that annoy me. Those things that do annoy me, I tend to tune them out.

Cynically,
--The Author


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